Blair’s Good Deed

There are some things you just don’t want to come back. The bubonic plague, Black Lace, flared trousers. On this list, at the very front, there’s one absolute wanker we don’t want back under any circumstances. An exception might be made should he be returned in chains, in the stocks, or have his head stuck on a spike on Tower Bridge, but otherwise it is safe to say that people do not want Tony Blair back.

Yet he returns. Fresh from his role as “Middle-East Peace Envoy” (I know) he comes back to plug his new autobiography. Naturally the 700 page epic doesn’t shirk away from the key issues; Blair sticks to his guns in defending his invasion of Iraq. Yet he does give on one surprising issue; the fox-hunting ban.

Blair’s reason is that “[b]y the end of it, I felt like the damn fox.” Sadly he hasn’t met the same end as the fox yet, although there is still time.

Yet the ban on hunting with dogs is one aspect of Blair’s reign that we should celebrate. I mean, it’s not as if he has much going for him, so why on earth give up on the good bits?

But I revisit the issue of fox-hunting for another reason; we’ve got chickens! Here are a few pictures of the birds;

They see me rolling

Haters gonna hate

I are serious chicken

Sadly with chickens comes risk; the fox. Such vermin, despite their ginger exterior, have hearts of the deepest evil. A fox, unlike many other predators, doesn’t only kill for food; it kills because it can. Such vicious animals put my beloved chickens at great risk. And it is for this reason I support the ban.

Opponents of the ban have two important arguments. 1) That foxes are vermin that endanger livestock. 2) That the ban has increased the number of foxes killed. Indeed according to the Countryside Alliance “[t]he impact of the Hunting Act has actually been that more foxes, deer and hares are being killed.”

These two arguments are given separately, yet when you consider them together, the argument flips on its head. It is a sweet, sweet irony that the fox hunting ban has benefited the opponents of the ban. If foxes are vermin who slaughter livestock, and the ban has reduced the number of foxes, then logically the hunting ban has benefited the rural community. Of course when you understand this it is only a short step to realising that fox-hunting is yet another form of animal cruelty, alongside cock fighting and bear baiting. But I don’t care about that issue, all I care about is my chickens, and the simple fact is my chickens are safer thanks to Tony Blair. So, thank you, Tony.

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How to really decide the election

I haven’t really been too interested in the recent election, if I’m brutally honest. The pre-election predictions, television debates, campaigning, and generally bullshit isn’t my idea of fun, whereas the post-election fracas where we endlessly debated about which lucky fellow would taste Nick Clegg’s cock got so confusing and boring even the most hardened union  stalwart secretly wanted Clegg to hurry the fuck up and join the Tories.

But the election has highlighted just how bloody awful our election system is. Single Member Simple Plurality or First Past the Post (FPTP) has never been a wonderful system, which requires a far greater belief in the independence of the House of Commons than there actually is. The MP – constituency link might actually mean something if the MP wasn’t the bitch of their party whips. But the election results have been particularly shocking this year.

A good example is this: http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/blog/2010/may/07/general-election-2010-results

“If you divide the number of votes each party received by the number of seats they won (as things stand now), you get these figures:
Conservatives: 35,021
Labour: 33,338
Liberal Democrat: 119,397”

Democracy in action.

But that’s boring, so I’ve come up with a more interesting way of sorting the parties – % of vote relative to large donations. After all, money talks in this election, and understandably the major two parties dominated this area

So the Conservatives got 36.1% of the vote with £7,317,601.74 (who gave the 1.74?) – This means each 1% of the vote cost them £202,703, or £213712 with public funding. Excellent value for money

Labour got 29% with 5,283,198.85 – This means each 1% of the vote cost them £182,179

The Liberal Democrats got 23% with a whopping £724,000 – This means each 1% of the vote cost them £31,478, or £39,752 with public funding.

The Co-Operative Party only got £33,745, but none of the vote. Proof, if it is needed, that the public don’t know what’s best for them.

So the Conservatives – 1% of the vote for £213,712

Labour – 1% of the vote for £182,179

Liberal Democrats – 1% of the vote for £39,752

God forbid what might happen if the parties were on equal footing before a proportional system. Something as hideous as democracy might spring up.

Thieving Foreign Bastards

If there’s one issue that really gets on my wick, it’s the benefits culture in this country. I can deal with all those Pakis and Niggers coming over here and stealing our jobs, because they bring their curry recipes as well. I can deal with this “permissive” society because I secretly knock one out over the moralising articles in the Mail. I can even deal with the fact that’s it’s illegal to murder homos. But the one issue I really can’t stand is those foreigners who come over here, and we just give them everything and expect nothing. Disgusting.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a racist. I even once only kicked a Chinaman half to death because I felt pity on him half-way through. Just the other day a British family were caught sponging off our benefits system. Clear questions need to be asked about why our benefits system is so poor (and also what daft cunts would call their child Mercedes?) But there’s one family I want to focus on in particular.

Now, don’t get me wrong, when a family does come over here, it’s a good thing that we give them a helping hand with funds so they can set up their business. However this family first came to this country over 160 years ago! Since then their benefits have soared.

In a year it is estimated that their expenditure is around £40 million!

I’ll say it again, £40 million. £40 million pounds, and yet they do no work whatsoever!

I can scarce believe it myself.

But that’s not all.

They have 21 (yes, 21) private residences. All paid for at your expense.

So while we have a problem with those lower class spongers, their crimes pale in comparison to some of the great scams that political correctness has allowed in this country.

I’m truly disgusted.

Oh and here’s a picture of the leaching fuckers:

The New BNP Curriculum

Rejoice, racists of the world, you’re now allowed to teach in schools! Herr Hitler would be so proud. Now some killjoys are moaning about active racists not treating black children the same as white children. But this is just a lie. One BNP member told me “We’ll treat those niggers and jungle-buddies the same as our Aryan brothers.” Quite right too.

But while those lefty bastards are moaning about this progressive decision, the BNP have drawn up their timetable for the new school year. Let’s take a look shall we…

8:30-9 – Assembly – The children turn up in their uniform of brown shirts and march into the hall before picking up their daily copy of the Mail. Then the Fuhrer gives a passionate speech on the important events in the week, such as the evidence of anti-white discrimination when a slightly brown looking guy gave him a slightly dodgy look in the street.

9-11 – English – What else? The language isn’t studied, only what it means to be English. The language of Shakespeare is ignored as poofter gay talk and instead they study films such as This is England which is “about skinheads, but they’re not really racist, because one of them is a black kid. They turn on him in the end, but because he was one of the gang they’re not really racist. They just believe in what they believe in

11-1 – Science – None of this liberal dogma about evolution, we’re going straight into eugenics. One hour of lectures being taught of how black people are inferior and a “perfect slave race”. The next is spent studying the ground breaking research done at Auschwitz by the famed Dr. Carl Clauberg and others.

1-2 – Lunch – Instead of the traditional school dining room, everyone sits around a dining table and listens to their grandparents get slightly drunk and complain about the black family down the road. After eating bullying of the local black kids is advised.

2-4 – History – To counter the myth of the “Holocaust” the works of David Irvin and Nick Griffin are examined to prove it was indeed a “Holohoax” Then the wonders of the British Empire are taught, like the good old days when blacks were slaves, Indians were starving, and the white man reigned supreme. Rule Britannia.

4-5 – Politics – And to finish off the day a special visit from the man himself. Miss-tah Niccccccck Griffin.

Well there you have it, the new timetable for our children, ready to create the next generation of Aryan superheros.