Blair’s Good Deed

There are some things you just don’t want to come back. The bubonic plague, Black Lace, flared trousers. On this list, at the very front, there’s one absolute wanker we don’t want back under any circumstances. An exception might be made should he be returned in chains, in the stocks, or have his head stuck on a spike on Tower Bridge, but otherwise it is safe to say that people do not want Tony Blair back.

Yet he returns. Fresh from his role as “Middle-East Peace Envoy” (I know) he comes back to plug his new autobiography. Naturally the 700 page epic doesn’t shirk away from the key issues; Blair sticks to his guns in defending his invasion of Iraq. Yet he does give on one surprising issue; the fox-hunting ban.

Blair’s reason is that “[b]y the end of it, I felt like the damn fox.” Sadly he hasn’t met the same end as the fox yet, although there is still time.

Yet the ban on hunting with dogs is one aspect of Blair’s reign that we should celebrate. I mean, it’s not as if he has much going for him, so why on earth give up on the good bits?

But I revisit the issue of fox-hunting for another reason; we’ve got chickens! Here are a few pictures of the birds;

They see me rolling

Haters gonna hate

I are serious chicken

Sadly with chickens comes risk; the fox. Such vermin, despite their ginger exterior, have hearts of the deepest evil. A fox, unlike many other predators, doesn’t only kill for food; it kills because it can. Such vicious animals put my beloved chickens at great risk. And it is for this reason I support the ban.

Opponents of the ban have two important arguments. 1) That foxes are vermin that endanger livestock. 2) That the ban has increased the number of foxes killed. Indeed according to the Countryside Alliance “[t]he impact of the Hunting Act has actually been that more foxes, deer and hares are being killed.”

These two arguments are given separately, yet when you consider them together, the argument flips on its head. It is a sweet, sweet irony that the fox hunting ban has benefited the opponents of the ban. If foxes are vermin who slaughter livestock, and the ban has reduced the number of foxes, then logically the hunting ban has benefited the rural community. Of course when you understand this it is only a short step to realising that fox-hunting is yet another form of animal cruelty, alongside cock fighting and bear baiting. But I don’t care about that issue, all I care about is my chickens, and the simple fact is my chickens are safer thanks to Tony Blair. So, thank you, Tony.